Skip to Main Content
The Student News Site of Torrey Pines High School

The Falconer

  • For further questions, please email [email protected]. Stories will not be posted over the summer break. Please check back on Aug. 11 for stories.
The Student News Site of Torrey Pines High School

The Falconer

The Student News Site of Torrey Pines High School

The Falconer

Satire

Satire: Hacky sack takes over the school

Satire: Hacky sack takes over the school

Dylan Guillory, Staff Writer May 15, 2026

What began as a casual lunchtime activity rapidly evolved into what students and faculty are now calling a full-blown takeover, as hacky sack circles continue expanding across campus with little sign...

Students taking Advanced Placement (AP) History exams often use Heimler’s History videos to study. Many students used Heimler’s History videos to review the night before their test.

Satire: Heimler’s History saves the day

Dylan Guillory, Staff Writer May 13, 2026

In what experts are calling an “academic ritual,” thousands of high school students across the country have once again resorted to last-minute cramming sessions featuring Heimler’s History videos...

The pep rally crowd cheers and at times, jeers. However, this theatrical display was not enough.

Satire: Pep rally games upgrades

Emily Chao, Staff Writer May 11, 2026

The stage is set. The players are ready. Ten enter. One victor leaves the ring. The pep rally crowd cheers and at times, jeers. However, this theatrical display is not enough. At least, not yet, according...

School lunches sit in the trash. Students rushed to get their food but did not finish it.

Satire: School lunches

Tylor Shin, Staff Writer May 4, 2026

The clock hits 1:05 p.m. Lunch is finally here after what seems like an eternity, and students pour out of the doors all across campus. Within seconds, walking in a straight line for more than three yards...

Freddy the Falcon holds gold and cardinal pom poms. He supported our school during pep rallies.

Satire: Day in the life: Freddie the Falcon

Emerson Koning, Staff Writer April 28, 2026

Freddy the Falcon reportedly survived another school pep rally that included waving at students, sweating through layers of his fuzzy costume and pretending to enjoy blasting music and games for a whole...

Clutching onto superstitions is a comforting behavior, and its presence is something that lingers all throughout one’s life. They followed people around everywhere.

Satire: Sports superstitions

Autumn Bowman, Staff Writer April 23, 2026

Clutching onto superstitions is a comforting behavior, and its presence is something that lingers all throughout one’s life. They follow people around everywhere. From before morning practice to riding...

2-year-old Sage Rosskopf (11) is seen here sleeping rather than brushing up on her quantum physics or training for the Olympics. Throughout her youth, Rosskopf wasted her potential and time on many "core" childhood experiences.

Satire: What I wish I achieved before 17

Sage Rosskopf, Staff Writer April 20, 2026

Fifteen-year-old Olympians. Seventeen-year-old Grammy nominees. Twelve-year-old NASA interns. These people absolutely demolish any excuse that age is an obstacle to fame, success or excellence. While your...

A teacher tells a student to close his game. Some students used complex loopholes to access unblocked games on their Chromebook.

Satire: Students v. GoGuardian

Autumn Bowman, Staff Writer April 16, 2026

The strong GoGuardian-Teacher duo once again executed one of its favorite actions: blocking websites and limiting tabs. One of their favorite things to do is stalk students’ screens and temporarily lock...

While most student newspapers focus on school events and student life, the Falconer staff navigates a debate of conspiracy theories. Though staff members remain strictly committed to journalistic integrity, some staff meetings shifted from story pitches to discussions about whether whales were more intelligent than humans.

Satire: Falconer staff conspiracy theories

Reese Carsley, News Editor April 15, 2026

While most student newspapers focus on school events and student life, the Falconer staff recently found itself navigating a debate of firmly held conspiracy theories.  Though staff members remain...

A student racks her brain to remember the SparkNotes chapter summary of the English class assigned reading. However, for some books, Sparknotes did not help.

Satire: To SparkNote or not to SparkNote?

Christopher Bacon, Director of Outreach April 7, 2026

We have all been there: it is the night before a reading quiz and you realize that you forgot to read the two assigned chapters. The last thing you want to do on top of your other homework assignments...

Load More Stories
Donate to The Falconer