Freddy the Falcon reportedly survived another school pep rally that included waving at students, sweating through layers of his fuzzy costume and pretending to enjoy blasting music and games for a whole hour.
On Wednesday at 7:30 a.m., while most students are still waking up and debating if first period is worth attending, Freddy the Falcon is already preparing for another pep rally appearance.
The first step in his morning routine is a freezing cold ice plunge to wake up. Next comes a triple espresso for an extra boost of energy. Freddy then heads to his warmup workout routine. He stretches and does jumping jacks and pushups to get ready for a day of running around the school and hyping up the crowd. By the time the first period starts, Freddy is fully awake and ready to go.
“People think it’s all fun and games,” Freddy said through muffled breathing inside the oversized falcon head. “But, nobody talks about the struggle of trying to dance in giant bird feet without falling down in front of the entire school.”
Teachers report Freddy’s commitment to school spirit is unmatched.
“No matter what’s happening, Freddy is always there,” one teacher said. “We could be losing by 30 points and Freddy would still be jumping around like we just won a championship.”
After the pep rally during lunch, witnesses observed Freddy spending his time wandering the quad alone while students asked to take photos with him to post on their Instagram.
During the pep rally, the bleachers were packed with cheering students and loud music. The gym erupted when he suddenly dropped to the floor and attempted the worm in front of the student section. Freddy then shocked the crowd when he challenged the dance team to a dance battle. He lasted about three seconds before tripping over his enormous feet and sliding across the floor.
By the end of the school day, Freddy allegedly runs on nothing but an energy boost shot and the vague hope that someone would finally wash the mascot costume before next time.
When Freddy finally gets home after an assembly schedule, he collapses onto the couch and questions why he agreed to become a mascot in the first place.
According to Freddy, the recovery process can take almost as long as the pep rally itself. First comes removing the giant mascot head, then sitting in silence for several minutes while wondering if this was worth the additional extracurricular on his college application.
“At that point, I’m too tired to do homework,” Freddy said. “I’m basically an athlete, except my sport is aggressive school spirit.”
