While most student newspapers focus on school events and student life, the Falconer staff recently found itself navigating a debate of firmly held conspiracy theories.
Though staff members remain strictly committed to journalistic integrity, some staff meetings shifted from story pitches to discussions about whether whales are more intelligent than humans.
“I’m not saying they are,” one staff member stated, “I’m just saying we shouldn’t rule it out.”
Other theories varied widely.
Some are more traditional: one staff member reportedly believes aliens helped build the pyramids, while another continues to raise concerns about the Bermuda Triangle, despite general public agreement that most incidents were rationalized through weather patterns.
More modern theories also arise in conversation. A small group of staff that believes that Harry Styles and former President Barack Obama are, in fact, in a secret committed relationship and that certain long-running animated shows seem to predict real world events with startling accuracy.
“It’s happened too many times to ignore,” another staff member said, refusing to elaborate further.
Some staff members even speculated about the existence of life beyond Earth. A leading theory on staff was that space agencies may know more about Earth’s oceans and what lies inside them than what they publicly share.
“It just feels like we’re missing something,” an editor noted while scrolling through Reddit pages.
One theory almost unanimously agreed upon was the ongoing speculation around the circumstances surrounding Princess Diana’s death. At least one staff member expressed continued interest in Stonehenge and kept questioning the time period in which it was built.
Shockingly, the most notable divide on staff was between those who believe left-handed people are in fact more intelligent and those who are simply trying to finish their work.
Despite these many differences, while conspiracy theories remain a topic of discussion, all staff members are still expected to meet their deadlines, regardless of what they believe about the pyramids.
