Attendance at school mysteriously dipped last Friday afternoon shortly after the weather app reported the Ultra Violet (UV) Index reached five, which scientists classify as moderate but students seem to interpret as an Immediate Beach Emergency.

By 11 a.m., witnesses reported a steady stream of teenagers leaving campus, heading towards the beach with backpacks, which administrators said appeared “concerningly light on textbooks and unusually heavy on towels.”

School officials said the pattern became increasingly predictable.

“First period looked normal,” said one administrator who wished to remain anonymous, “Then someone checks the UV index, and suddenly, half the campus is gone.”

The UV index reaching above five during March is not surprising for San Diego, yet it is the perfect reason to miss classes, especially if that class has a test.

“If the UV hits five, the conditions are basically perfect,” a junior, who was asked to comment on the situation while allegedly attending Advanced Placement Chemistry from a beach towel at Del Mar Beach, said. 

Local lifeguards said they can tell when the school day is still in progress. 

“Every time the UV is slightly high on a weekday morning, we suddenly get a bunch of teenagers who claim they’re doing their homework,” one lifeguard said. “Strangely, the homework always involves surfing.”

Teachers experienced difficulties stopping this trend. 

“You can’t compete with the Pacific Ocean,” said one teacher, “Especially when someone runs down the hallway screaming the UV level like it’s a fire drill.”

Meteorologists say the UV index is expected to reach six later this week.

“We’re not saying we will skip,” a student said. “We’re just saying we will be watching the UV index carefully.”