Student:
7:15 a.m. – You sleepily roll over to check the time on your phone and then jolt to a start. It is 7:15 a.m., which means you slept through the five alarms you set the night before. You stumble out of bed, almost tripping on all the loose papers littering your room, remnants of your late night studying. It reminds you — you have two tests today, and if you don’t get ready soon, you’ll be late!
7:30 a.m. – School materials in one hand, breakfast in the other, you rummage through ten different nooks and crannies, trying to find your chromebook. At last, you find it, but after a quick glance, you know it’s dead. You swear you charged it the day before, but maybe you forgot in the haste of coming home late from practice … Guess you’ll have to find some way to charge it at school.
7:45 a.m. – It is a short walk to your friend’s house — your ride to school since both of your parents have left the house for work already. Well … it’s a short walk when you are not juggling three notebooks, a binder, your water bottle, your lunch and a piece of toast in your mouth. Why in the world did you not bring a backpack today?
8:00 a.m. – You have waited for 15 minutes now — you and your friend were supposed to leave at 7:50 a.m. so you could ask your teacher some questions before the test. But there was a miscommunication between your friend and their dad about who has the car today. It’s that awkward moment where you don’t want to interfere with their fight, so you politely stare at your shoe. Since when did the pearly white turn to greasy gray?
8:05 a.m. – So now you probably will not be able to differentiate between entropy and enthalpy. Great. You kind of get it already … maybe.
8:10 a.m. – You’re leaving. Wow, this is weird. You’ve never been this eager to get to school.
8:25 a.m. – Walking into the school from the parking lot, your mind is whirling in a million directions. You did not make it to early office hours for questions, but you will at least make it to class on time. Wait, did you turn in the study guide for math? You scramble with your phone as you check Google Classroom. Your grade is on the edge and you need every point. Oh no, it’s not loading, it’s not loading … oh finally, yes, it loaded. Phew, you’re good. Your stomach grumbles, that toast was not enough!
8:29 a.m. – You approach your first period class — the daily song is playing on the speakers and by your calculations, you have approximately 30 seconds left to get to your seat before your teacher starts passing out the test. As you near the room, you realize something … odd. Oh no. This is not the right class.
8:33 a.m. – It does not help that math is quite literally on the other side of the planet from chemistry, or that your five hours of sleep forced you into autopilot, routing you towards your math class instead. Your internal GPS failed you yet again. For the twentieth time, you rehearse your Oscar-award winning speech to justify your delinquency.
8:36 a.m. – You rush into class in a flurry of binders, notebooks and sky-high stress. The entire class, quietly scribbling in answers to the 100 point test, looks up from their work to gape at your heinous tardiness. The teacher stands from her desk, and you can feel the impending talking-to. You want to vanish into thin air.
The Conversation:
“I’m so, so sorry. It was — it — I —” Somehow the words are not coming out — you are not getting this Oscar. “So many things happened to me this morning — it — I tried my best to get here on time but …”
“It’s okay.” By her expression, it definitely is not okay. “Take a seat and I’ll give you the test. It’s on the chromebook. Just remember, for the future … [insert a lengthy, somewhat understanding but stern reprimand that expresses disappointment not on teacher’s account, but of respect for the student’s future, otherwise the student will not be prepared for college when there isn’t the same amount of accountability checkpoints, which means strong habits must begin now, we don’t want this to be a pattern].”
Teacher:
8:36 a.m. – Student XYZ came into class. Late. Slightly out of the usual. But for the good of the student, you have to make sure they understand that this kind of tardiness shouldn’t be the norm. Ostensibly late students are kind of a pet peeve of yours. Just a little bit. Okay, maybe it’s more than that. You watch as the student slumps into their seat and starts the test. XYZ is a good kid. But … is it really too much to expect students to get to class on time?


Claire Zhou • Jan 23, 2026 at 6:53 pm
Amazing satire piece, Emily!